sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
