He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
