I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize