too bad you live with your parents still
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
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