ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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