She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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