Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
