Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I will be naked everywhere
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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