Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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