we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
