No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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