Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
