You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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