apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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