don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
