You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
