I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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