his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he told me I talked like a deaf person
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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