my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize