So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I wanna passion pit in your ass
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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