i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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