Sry I called you an 8
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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