Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize