we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize