If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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