i need an iv and a liver transplant
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I don't think brook has ever known best
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
