yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
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You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
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COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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