party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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