matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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