We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
