So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
