She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
