I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize