My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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