let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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