I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
