It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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