She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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