Got a toothbrush?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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