he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So squirting runs in the family.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
