I just made out with a guy for $7.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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