sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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