Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
She even gives head with a lisp.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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