ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
