'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
