So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
