We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
