party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
