I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize