I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
