im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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