You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
