dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
