He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
