Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
