he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
