I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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